Monogamy or Polygamy

This is a deeply personal and culturally nuanced question, and the answer depends on several factors—emotional, spiritual, social, and practical. Let’s explore both options in light of the scenario you described.

The Man’s Situation

- Elderly, living alone in a large house

- Wife has left to live with their children abroad, possibly permanently

- Self-sufficient but likely experiencing loneliness and a lack of companionship

- Cultural context: African societies often have more flexible views on polygamy, especially in traditional settings

Monogamy: A Case for Continuity

Pros:

- Respects the original marital covenant, especially if the wife is still legally married to him

- Aligns with Christian teachings that emphasize lifelong monogamous unions (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6)

- Avoids potential family conflict or inheritance disputes

Cons:

- May leave the man emotionally and physically isolated

- If the wife has effectively abandoned the marriage, he may feel neglected or betrayed

Polygamy (or Remarriage): A Case for Companionship

Pros:

- In many African cultures, polygamy is accepted and even expected in certain circumstances—especially if the first wife is absent or unable to fulfill marital roles

- Provides companionship, care, and possibly revitalizes the home

- Biblically, while not ideal, polygamy was practiced by patriarchs like Abraham, Jacob, and David without explicit condemnation

Cons:

- May conflict with Christian teachings if the man is a believer, especially in New Testament contexts (1 Timothy 3:2)

- Could cause tension with children or extended family

- Legal implications depending on the country’s laws

A Thoughtful Path Forward

Before choosing either path, the man might consider:

- Reconciliation: Has he tried to reconnect with his wife? Is there hope for reunion?

- Faith and values: What do his religious beliefs say about remarriage or polygamy?

- Community and family: How would his children and community respond to a new partner?

- Legal standing: Is he still legally married? What are the laws in his country regarding polygamy or remarriage?

Possible Middle Ground

If reconciliation is unlikely and loneliness is a serious concern, he might consider:

- Remarriage (if divorced or abandoned): A new monogamous relationship could offer companionship without the complications of polygamy

- Customary union: In some African traditions, a second wife may be accepted culturally even if not legally formalized

- Non-marital companionship: A platonic companion or caregiver could provide emotional support without altering marital status

Ultimately, the “solution” isn’t just monogamy or polygamy—it’s about restoring dignity, joy, and connection in his later years. If you'd like, we can explore how different African cultures or Christian denominations view this situation.

Make your choice. 

©Dr Joel Olanrewaju gbemide09@gmail.com.