Title: Understand and Live Peacefully with your Spouse forever.

Love your wives even as Christ also Loved the Church and gave himself for it(Ephesians 5:25).

Discussion:

Women are a uniquely precious gift from God, essential to life and purpose on earth. They hold such profound significance in a man’s life that they can truly be called indispensable. Yet, their depth and complexity are such that fully understanding them remains a mystery—much like the wonders of creation. As someone once said, 'If you can comprehend how the stars hold their place in the sky, only then might you begin to understand a woman.'  

 From a biblical standpoint, God has given us timeless principles for relating to women with wisdom, love, and honor. By following His Word, we can build strong, harmonious relationships that reflect His divine design. Understanding women and preventing quarrels in marriage from a biblical perspective involves applying God’s wisdom on love, communication, and mutual respect. 

Here are key biblical principles to foster a harmonious marriage:

 1. Love as Christ Loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25-33), Husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.   - This means prioritizing her well-being, being patient, kind, and forgiving (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). A woman who feels truly loved and secure is less likely to engage in unnecessary quarrels.

 2. Seek Understanding, Not Just Agreement (Proverbs 18:13, 1 Peter 3:7) "Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way" (1 Peter 3:7). This means listening attentively, acknowledging her feelings, and not dismissing her concerns.  Proverbs 18:13 warns against answering before hearing the whole matter. Many quarrels arise from misunderstandings, not malice.

 3. Control Your Words (Proverbs 15:1, James 1:19-20). "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)  "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger." (James 1:19)   - Avoid sarcasm, insults, or raised voices. Instead, speak with kindness and self-control.

  4. Pursue Peace, Not Winning (Romans 12:18, Hebrews 12:14). "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."(Romans 12:18) Marriage is not about proving who is right but about unity. Sometimes, it’s better to overlook minor offenses (Proverbs 19:11).

 5. Pray Together and Seek God’s Wisdom (Matthew 18:20, Philippians 4:6-7) Couples who pray together invite God’s peace into their marriage. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God."(Philippians 4:6)   - Praying for and with your wife softens hearts and reduces conflict.

  6. Forgive as Christ Forgave You (Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32). "Bear with each other and forgive one another... as the Lord forgave you."(Colossians 3:13)   - Holding onto bitterness leads to more quarrels. Instead, extend grace and seek reconciliation quickly (Matthew 5:23-24).

  7. Recognize Differences and Complement Each Other (Genesis 2:18, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."(Genesis 2:18) Women often communicate emotions differently—understanding this prevents unnecessary conflicts.   - Work as a team: "Two are better than one… for if either falls, one can help the other up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

8. Let the Holy Spirit Guide Your Marriage (Galatians 5:22-23). "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."A marriage led by the Spirit will have fewer quarrels because both partners submit to God’s ways.

 Practical Steps to Prevent Quarrels:

Daily Devotion: Read the Bible together.    Regular Check-ins: Discuss concerns before they escalate.  

Humble Apologies: Be quick to say, "I was wrong; please forgive me."   

 Laugh Together: Joy diffuses tension (Proverbs 17:22).

Final Thought - (Proverbs 21:9, 19) "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (This applies both ways—neither spouse should be quarrelsome.)  

A peaceful home is built on mutual love, respect, and godly wisdom.

By following these biblical principles, husbands and wives can cultivate a marriage that honors God and minimizes unnecessary strife.  

© Dr. Joel Olanrewaju, share your thoughts with me at gbemide09@gmail.com. Feel free to share this devotional with your contacts. Husbands and wives read together and discuss it.